just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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