Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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