i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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