Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize
