found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
