I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
