I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
