chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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