Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
