are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
