You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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