Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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