Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
