And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Boobs speak an international language.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
