non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
