he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
