ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
