ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
