He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
