That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
