I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
