Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
