just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
