u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
