It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
