so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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