i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
