Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
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