Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
