And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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