He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
