he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
