This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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