you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
