There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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