Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
