i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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