Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
