Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
