You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
