Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
