So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
