Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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