Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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