my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
