1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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