Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
