everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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