the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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