I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
