what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
